Cathy in the Wright

Big Happenings

A most excellent day yesterday. Former Cokato boy and currently The Outpost's Arizona correspondent, Chris H., arrived in town with his drinking buddy and all-around trouble instigator, Jim B. We met up at the local coffee shop and spent a couple of hours trading stories, taunts, and favorite websites. I could have easily turned two hours into four, but The Senator and The Governor had already emptied their emergency reservoirs of good behavior. Gentlemen: I'm already looking forward to your next trip. That said...if I ever find a "My Other Car is A Subaru" bumper sticker on the back of my vehicle...I shall hunt you down and make your lives hell.

Yesterday was also the start of the 58th annual Cokato Corn Carnival. Side note to Chris and Jim: guess who was our entertainer in the park last night? The one, the only Water Tower Bard herself. Next year, be sure to check the city's website so you can plan your trip accordingly. You also missed the high drama surrounding the parade.

This year, the Cokato Corn Carnival Committee made the executive decision that there would be NO CANDY allowed in the parade.

A heartfelt letter to the editor, from said CCCC, explained that safety concerns were behind the measure. After receiving complaints, apparently about the velocity of sugary booty being hurled at parade-goers, the committee requested last year that all parade entrants who wanted to toss candy, do so by having volunteers walk along the curbs and gently distribute treats to all the little urchins lining the street. But, alas, some renegade scofflaw had the nerve to chuck candy from a moving float and therefore (say it with me) FOR THE CHILDREN, the safety of whom is surely squeezed in the middle of that cleanliness/godliness bond, no candy.

General discontent was widespread, and I was already looking forward to a round of terse Letters to the Editor in the next few weeks denouncing the Communist take-over of this annual event. But now I'm positively exploding with anticipation. A local landscaping company bucked authority and threw the forbidden Tootsie Rolls from their float.

The whispers and murmers rolled down Broadway Avenue. Some people cheered, some clapped, and some wondered when Wright County's finest were going to descend on the outlaws. But overall, I think most people were ready to give the landscapers a standing ovation. Personally, I'm thinking of ripping out the grass in my front yard just so I can hire them to come replace it.

I'm willing to bet that a few members of the CCCC are not enjoying this 58th running of the corn as much as they thought they would.

And speaking of corn: if you happen to be in the area tonight or tomorrow, a $3 button (good for both nights) gets you all the hot, buttered corn-on-the-cob you can eat at the main park in town. And if that wasn't enough, from 2 to 4 p.m. you can help shuck the corn! You don't even need the button to help shuck.

Folks, you just can't buy a good time like that anywhere else.

Since I Have An Aunt Karen...

From Margaret:

The teacher gave her fifth grade class this assignment: "Get your parents to tell you a story with a moral." The next day the kids came back and one by one they told their stories. There were all the regular stories, spilled milk; pennies saved; etc. But then the teacher realized that only Little Johnny in the back of the room had not provided a story with a moral. "Little Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and one day her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife."

"She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last one with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens!" exclaimed the horrified teacher. "What moral did you get from this horrible story?"

"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking."

A New Month...A New Post

My dear sister-in-law took the time to send me a photo for the blog. You know, it touches me deeply when I realize just how much people will go out of their way to please me. Charlotte writes:

We had a little excitement the other day when a raven and a magpie simultaneously landed on an electric wire in two different locations and blew themselves up. I didn't see the magpie (Terry did) but the raven came from the transformer next to our house. It isn't that exciting of a photo, but it is dead. Thought it might be useful to the blog since you haven't had any death postings for the fans...

I love you too, Charlotte! (sniff)

Other than a lack of deceased critters, I haven't been short on blogging material...just short on time. Last week I went to my first demolition derby. My inner red-neck came out in full force. By the time I drove home, I had to subdue the overwhelming urge to want to ram the car in front of me. It is amazing how the sight of crumpled metal gets the blood pumping. And when one car caught on fire...well...let's just say I wanted to smoke a cigarette.

Before I go, I would like to thank The VP for turning the boys into WWII junkies. They have all started to watch The History Channel series "Dog Fights" and The VP even ordered the DVD set. Nothing wrong about this, mind you, it's just a little unsettling when your 5-year-old doesn't want to play traditional games but instead wakes you up asking, "Want to play Sinking of the Bismarck? You can be the HMS Hood!" And it's even weirder when I realize I've overheard enough of the series to answer, "No! I don't want to be the Hood! I'll be a Swordfish pilot and disable you before you can reach the French coast!"

My life...by Salvador Dali