Cathy in the Wright

My Piggy Bank After Filling The Car With Gas Today

Thanks Dave P.

Nursing Home Tuesday

Normally I have no problem when the residents eat a snack in front of me. I've come to expect it; a rolling snack cart makes the rounds right before Hoocher and I get there. And I never mind when they share with Hoocher. He usually makes out pretty well, especially with the popcorn fanatics.

But I draw the line when someone nibbles on a Nestle's 100 Grand, breaks off a few bites for the dog, and throws the rest in the trash. Harsh. That's my favorite candy bar.

One Of Those Fabled Joys Of Parenting

Just when you're ready to ship them off to boarding school, they do something so precious that you're heart just melts. Like Friday afternoon, when The Governor yelled from the bathroom

Hey Mom! You gotta come check out this! I wish it had corn in it like yesterday.

I don't think I've felt that sick to my stomach since the infamous Night of the Danish Aquavit/Dammel Dansk when I threw up in the dog dish.

To My 11-Year-Old Nephew...

Dear General,

The boys and I would like to thank you for the wonderful birthday party you threw for your mom last Wednesday evening. The burgers were grilled to perfection, the ice cream cake was a refreshing treat, and the company was second to none.

The boys would also like to extend their gratitude for passing down the pop guns you and your brother have outgrown. I refrain from offering my thanks; I had to listen to PLOINK! PLOINK! PLOINK! PLOINK! all the way home. And all day Thursday. And each boy, having slept with said gun under his pillow, picked it up this morning and has been firing at will.

Don't think I won't get even.

Sincerely,

Your favorite outstate Aunt

Good Parenting

I went to the Mall of America last evening with my new personal shopper, MD. It was another productive trip; two pairs of pants, two new purses, a necklace, and The VP's personal favorite: the high heel black leather boots. I really enjoyed myself, and our next trip promises to be even better because I told MD she was going to have to push me around the mall in a wheelchair for telling me she'd never heard of Huey Lewis and the News.

The shopping euphoria lasted all the way through this afternoon. The boys and I had a pleasant morning, but later on when I told The Governor it was time to go inside for lunch, the battle started. He wanted to stay outside, so he looked at me and said, "I hate you." Not with venom. Not with animosity. Just in a how's-the-weather-in-your-neck-of-the-woods sort of voice. The first shot across the bow. (Taking notes, Elder?) I responded with a stern lecture on why we use language like that, hurt feelings, blah, blah, blah, now get inside. He crossed his arms and said, "I refuse to move."

As he found out, the laws of physics do indeed apply to him, and he found himself being dragged towards the house. He retaliated with "I'm ALWAYS going to be bad! ALWAYS!"

So I told him if he was always going to be bad, his father and I could look forward to an even earlier military school enrollment date than we had previously planned.

That threw him. I always enjoy using vocabulary beyond his comprehension. It messes with his little mind. Next year I'll be out of luck but right now it keeps me entertained.

Once inside, he decided to skip lunch and take a nap. Sure, I had to guide him in the decision-making process, but he had a pretty clear idea of where he was heading.

And speaking of heading somewhere...Margaret, if you're reading this...want to head to Northwest and play racquetball some night soon? You know how I get when I try on clothes.

In A Word: Summer

That's my reason; that's my excuse. The lack of posting was a seasonal disorder from which I am rapidly recovering. Back-to-school shopping was a huge boost, and Saturday we hosted The Senator's birthday party. One more wedding next weekend, and my computer time should return to normal, elevated levels.

The birthday party was a lot of fun. I always get nervous about whether or not I'll have enough to keep half a dozen 6- and 7-year-olds busy for three hours. This year was not a problem. In addition to renting the inflatable moon walk, or "bouncy thing," as we like to call it around here...I hit a gold mine with the scavenger hunt. I gave each team a list of things to find somewhere on the grounds:

a bird feather

a dead bug

an alive bug

an acorn

a purple flower

a watch

a black tennis shoe

two pennies

an empty pop can

a bunny

After I read off the list they were stunned to hear that last one. I went on to tell them that I knew for certain that at least one rabbit lives somewhere beneath the evergreen bushes in the rock garden. Furthermore, anyone who catches a rabbit gets to bring it home for a pet.

Seven children spent the next 35 minutes parked out in the rock garden trying to scare a rabbit out of hiding. We didn't even get around to the pinata.

No one caught the rabbit. I don't mind the little bugger too much. He gives the dog something to chase each morning. He also leaves the dog little piles of cocoa beans to eat after wind sprints. It's this latter point that wouldn't have made me sorry to see him go home with some deserving first grader.

So, the party's done. The crayons are bought. The temperature dropped into the 50's last night. And I'm sitting at the computer again. Life is good.

While the Chairman's Away ...

... the Professor will play.

Okay, everybody, what is the usual academic response to a controversy? The correct answer is (tah, dah) to cringe until, it is hoped, the beating stops.

Well the President of the University of North Dakota has a backbone that won't let him cower. Here is a letter that he sent to the NCAA, in reponse to its demands relative to Indian-theme names, etc. Damn, it's good, and without further introduction, see for yourself.

Dear UND Alums:

Below you will find an open letter I sent today (Friday, August 12) to Myles Brand, the President of the NCAA, regarding the August 5 announcement about the American Indian nickname issue. I wanted you to be aware of the University of North Dakota's response to the NCAA's
recommendations.

Charles Kupchella
President

August 12, 2005

An Open Letter to the NCAA:

The quiet serenity of our beautiful campus was disturbed early August 5 by news reports that the NCAA had decided to address the Indian nickname issue. The early reports were unclear; the words mascot, nickname, and logo were used interchangeably, and the loaded words "abusive" and "hostile" were invoked without definition and without any real clear idea as to how they were being applied. We don't have a mascot, and our logo was designed by a very well-respected American Indian artist. We couldn't imagine that these reports would apply to us.

Later, we saw the full release. While it looked like the action taken by the NCAA was insulting, and a flagrant abuse of power, we knew that good, well-meaning people were involved in the decision and we wanted to consider our reaction carefully.

We were initially stunned by the charge "abusive" and "hostile," and then angry. We reflected and gave it a week before drafting this response. I must admit to sinking at one point during the past week to the notion that my Association was guilty of "political correctness run amok" as suggested by some papers.

We want to file an appeal, but first we need to know the basis for your decisions. We need the answers to some questions first, in other words.

I do not wish to take up the issue, here, of any absolute or general "correctness" of using American Indian imagery. Those on both sides of the issue have long ago made up their minds, and no amount of talking over many years seems to have moved anyone from one side of the issue to the other. Suffice it to say, some choose to be insulted by the use of these terms; others are befuddled by this reaction to what they consider to be an honor. What I would like to take up here is a matter of the appropriateness and legality of the NCAA's action. I mean to take up the issue of whether the NCAA has gone over the edge and out of bounds in the action announced on Friday.

Is it the use of Indian names, images, and/or mascots to which you are opposed? If it is all of the above, which logos, images, and mascots do you indict by your announcement? Is it only certain ones? As I said, a very respected Indian artist designed and created a logo for the University. The logo is not unlike those found on United States coins and North Dakota highway patrol cars and highway signs. So we can't imagine that the use of this image is "abusive" or "hostile" in any sense of these words.

Is it the use of the names of tribes that you find hostile and abusive?

Not long ago I took a trip to make a proposal to establish an epidemiological program to support American Indian health throughout the Upper Great Plains. On this trip I left a state called North Dakota. (Dakota is one of the names the indigenous people of this region actually call themselves.) I flew over South Dakota, crossing the Sioux River several times, and finally landed in Sioux City, Iowa, just south of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. The airplane in which I traveled that day was called a Cheyenne.

I think you should find my confusion here understandable, since obviously if we were to call our teams "The Dakotans," we would actually be in more direct violation of what apparently you are trying to establish as a rule, even though this is the name of our state. This situation, of course, is not unlike that faced by our sister institution in Illinois.

Is it only when some well-meaning people object to the use of the names of tribes? If so, what standard did you use to decide where the line from acceptable to "hostile" and "abusive" is crossed? We note that you exempted a school with a certain percentage of American Indian students. We have more than 400 American Indian students here. Who decided that a certain percentage was okay, but our percentage was not? Where is the line between okay and hostile/abusive?

We have two Sioux tribes based here in North Dakota. One has, in fact, objected to our use of the name, "Sioux," applied to our sports teams. The other said it was okay, provided that we took steps to ensure that some good comes of it, in educating people and students about the cultural heritage of this region. This mix of opinions is apparently not unlike that faced by our sister institution in Florida.

Is it only about applying names to sports teams? If so, would this be extended to the use of the names of all people, or is it just American Indians? Why would you exempt the "Fighting Irish" from your consideration, for example? Or ?Vikings," which are really fighting Scandinavians, or "Warriors," which I suppose could be described as fighting anybodies? Wouldn't it be "discrimination on account of race" to have a policy that applies to Indians but not to Scandinavians or the Irish, or anybody else for that matter? This seems especially profound in light of a letter to me from President Brand (8/9/05) in which he, in very broad-brush fashion and inconsistent with the NCAA's recent much narrower pronouncement, said, "we believe that mascots, nicknames or images deemed hostile or abusive in terms of race, ethnicity or national origin should not be visible at our events." (my emphasis)

As to the flagrant abuse of power question, I want to make sure I have this straight. We've recently built some magnificent facilities costing well over $100 million, under rules permitting us to host championship tournaments and otherwise participate fully in NCAA sanctioned activities, in which the very architecture of the building incorporates names and images of American Indian people. Do you really expect us now to spend large amounts of money to erase what we consider to be respectful images and names of Indian people who inhabited this region in the interest of the NCAA Executive Committee?

Hostile and abusive??

Help me understand why you think "hostile and abusive" applies to us. We have more than 25 separate programs in support of American Indian students here receiving high-end university educations. Included among these is an "Indians Into Medicine" program, now 30+ years running, that has generated 20 percent of all American Indian doctors in the United States. We have a similar program in Nursing, one in Clinical Psychology, and we are about to launch an "Indians into Aviation" program in conjunction with our world-class Odegard School of Aerospace Sciences. I am very proud when I visit reservations in our state to see that a large number of the teachers, doctors, Tribal College presidents, and other leaders are graduates of the University of North Dakota.

Do you really expect us to host a tournament in which these names and images are covered in some way that would imply that we are ashamed of them?

Concerning tournaments already scheduled: Is the NCAA taking the position that it can actually unilaterally modify a contract already made? Perhaps the charge (sometimes heard) that the NCAA exhibits too much of the arrogance that comes from its status as a monopoly -- apart from the question of whether it's an effective organization -- does indeed have a basis.

If the NCAA has all this power, why not use it to restore intercollegiate athletics to the ideal of sportsmanship by decoupling intercollegiate athletics from its corruption by big budgets? Why not use the power to put a halt to the out-of-control financial arms race that threatens to corrupt even higher education itself?

Yes, I know that in theory the NCAA is actually an association, and that UND is a member of it, and therefore it's really we who are doing all of these things to ourselves, or failing to do all of these things ourselves. But is the NCAA really a democratic organization? Why did we not put these issues to a vote by all member schools??

In his USA Today essay, Myles Brand proclaimed that this is a teachable moment, suggesting that the NCAA decision is "aimed at initiating a discussion on a national basis about how American Indians have been characterized . . . ." Great idea! Let's have the discussion -- one that we should have had before this ruling was handed down, one that actually includes American Indians and puts this in the perspective of all that is important to them at this time in history. And while we are at it, why not also address the state of intercollegiate athletics -- whether or not student-athletes at some schools are being exploited, and whether or not there is an out-of-control financial "arms race" threatening the integrity of higher education itself.

In considering how to appeal, we find it exasperating that we can't tell what the basis for your initial decision was and how you singled us out in the first place. In a letter from Myles Brand to me (8/9/05) he suggests that we could, in an appeal, argue that our symbols or mascots do not create a hostile or abusive environment. But his letter also seems to suggest that as long as some think the environment is hostile, case closed.

By the way, the last time this issue was stirred up on our campus, a formal charge was made to the Office for Civil Rights that the use of our logo or nickname created a hostile environment here at the University. The Office for Civil Rights sent a half-dozen people to our campus. They fanned out across campus and after more than a week here, found no such thing. Did the Executive Committee find some things they missed, perhaps? Or does a committee in Indianapolis trump the Office for Civil Rights here, on the ground, in North Dakota?

Finally, I expect that we will file an appeal, because should we wish to take this issue to court, the courts would undoubtedly ask if we have exhausted all administrative remedies. Please send us the appropriate application forms, and give us an indication of how the appeal will be heard and when. If the timing of this appeal were such that your deadline occurs before the appeal is resolved, we would ask that the deadline be put off, otherwise we may well have to go to the expense of seeking an injunction halting the imposition of these policies until all of our questions can be answered satisfactorily.

We thank you in advance for considering our questions.

Sincerely,

Charles E. Kupchella
President

CEK/cw

Charles Kupchella is President of the University of North Dakota (UND). The University offers some 25 program in support of American Indian students, has a degree program in Indian Studies and has, and has had, dozens of cooperative programs on reservations throughout North Dakota. UND serves more than 400 American Indian students on its Grand Forks campus. The University has competed in seven NCAA National Championship games since 1999 in both Division I and Division II.

Thank You

My dear Aelfheld,

Your Feel Better Soon card cheered me up by no small degree.

I think I may use this as the new wallpaper on my computer. And I will pass along your kind words to my mother.

Your Most Obedient Servant,

Ugh

Spent most of today drugged to the gills with DayQuil. In an attempt to score some major Good Husband points, The VP cleared his afternoon schedule and came home to watch the boys so I could nap.

Married an absolute diamond, I did. No question who got the better deal that day we stepped into the nave and swapped vows.

So due to my under-the-weatherness, I have no post for you. The only thing I've done on the computer is today is click on the website for the American Cancer Ablation Center. See today's Day by Day cartoon for why.

Tomorrow is a trip to the park and possibly a visit to Mom, who had back surgery this morning. Dad says everything went well, so hopefully she'll have some relief from the pinched nerve that left her pretty much unable to stand or walk without severe pain.

Sounds bad, but don't forget...I've got a cold here folks. Sure, she might need a morphine drip, but I've been reduced to taking my pseudoephedrine every three hours instead of every four. And it was probably tougher to get my drugs. Target now has my decongestant of choice behind bars. You have to submit a plastic card with a picture of the product to the pharmacist who will then sell it to you. Thanks to the Minnesota legislature, my days as a major meth producer are over. Sleep well, Wright County.

Fortunately, Cub Foods hasn't gotten around to locking up my particular brand yet, so I slipped a bottle in between the oatmeal and the romain lettuce and the cashier scanned it and sent off down the conveyor belt as if it were merely a 4 oz. bottle of soy sauce. Thank goodness it is not in her job description to police the cold medicines. And I mean that sincerely.

Time to dope up and go to bed.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Nothing like a good cold to force a break in the daily grind. Sounds like the pleurisy ward around here. Between illness and looming rain clouds, today is shaping up to be an indoor day. This is not an altogether bad thing - I'm sure we'll be watching a bit of television, and I need to re-familiarize myself with some of the shows on the approved viewing list. When The Governor looks up from his breakfast and declares, "Later on, I'm going to scream like a little girl," and goes back to quietly eating cereal...it makes me wonder where he's getting his ideas.

Television might not be at fault. He's come out with so many off-the-wall one-liners lately, I'm beginning to think he's channeling Graham Chapman. Yesterday we were talking about crayons. He was telling me why blue was superior to the other colors when he paused and said, "I'm going to chomp off my toe today." The next sentence he was back to the merits of darker shades versus lighter ones.

This morning I banged my knee on a kitchen chair. Same knee that's been brutally assulted in two of my last soccer games. I crumpled to the ground and held my breath, afraid I was going to use some of my field vocabulary. From behind me I hear, "Ahh...vanquished by the monster."

Some other beauties, not put in context here because they were not uttered in any:

Syrup boy, on the job!

No one says 'toast head' to me and gets away with it.

I love rockets and corn.

My life as an extra in a Monty Python skit.

A River Runs Through Him

With all the hot weather we've had lately, the boys and I have spent a lot of time at the cabin. We have discovered that lake water, when consumed even in small amounts, has a laxative effect on The Governor.

You've never been truly stunned until you've seen bright green liquid shoot out of your son's rear end with the force of a Wagner power painter.

Leaves you absolutely speechless.

My Evening With Huey

Last night I went to see Huey Lewis and The News at Mystic Lake Casino. My friend Casey, who is a huge HL fan, has a brother-in-law out in California who works for a musical artists booking agency; he came through with tickets and back stages passes. Thanks, Chip.

The Mystic Lake auditorium is an interesting place. It doubles as a bingo hall, so all the seating is removable chairs. The place isn’t too large, which makes for a cozy performance. No one is all that far away from the stage. We were four rows away from the stage. Not spitting distance, but I could have easily flung some racy lingerie and hit my target. Again…thanks, Chip.

Huey looked pretty good for an aging 80’s rock star. Sure, there were a few places on the old mug that were crying out for a shot or two of Botox, but his voice sounded just the same. He’s still got it. That goes for the hair, too.

The crowd surprised me. There were quite a few gray heads in the audience. Hard to picture Grandma rockin’ out to “I Want A New Drug” but it was happening all over the place. Perhaps I should clarify "rockin." There was a lot of clapping along to the music and some standing and dancing, but nothing that was going to involve security and EMTs. Oh well.

There was an interesting guy in the row behind us. He and his date were wearing matching Hawaiian print shirts and snug white shorts. I’m guessing they thought they bought tickets for Jimmy Buffet, but were too drunk to care that it was Huey Lewis. They had a great time. Of course, they would have had a great time listening to the kitchen staff bang spoons on half-filled glasses of water. A shame, really. The kitchen staff would have probably only charged them twenty bucks.

The concert itself was fantastic. It was, unfortunately, only a little over an hour long. Had I paid $50 for a ticket, I would have felt a bit cheated; it’s not as if the man didn’t have enough material for another sixty minutes. Since I didn’t pay for my ticket…I’m not complaining. Did I say thanks yet, Chip?

A side note about the lead guitar player, Stef Burns. This guy straddles that not too fine line between good-looking and oily. It took nearly the entire performance to come up with a verdict. He’s hot. The hair was swaying the jury towards oily, but the firm biceps and pecs under the snug black t-shirt were heavy evidence for the good-looking plea, and upon learning that he speaks fluent Italian, all reasonable doubt was removed. (Being multi-linguistic is an aphrodisiac, boys. Should have paid attention in high school Spanish class.)

After the concert, we were herded through the bowels of the casino to a small room to await our chance to shake hands with the band members. Casey started to get pretty nervous about meeting Huey. Like I mentioned earlier, she’s a big fan. This was her sixth HL concert. I tried to put it all in perspective for her. “Remember, Casey, it’s just Huey Lewis. It’s not as if we’re going to meet (and here I put my hand over my heart and sighed)…Karl Rove.”

Once in the designated room, we hung out with about a dozen or so other people and waited for the band members. Only three of them came in to chat. We talked for a short while with the bass player – very nice guy – as was the road manager. Huey came in and talked with a group of older adults for a while (they apparently had a lot in common), and then made a brief sweep of the rest of us. Casey got her autograph and a picture. I shook his hand, but to tell the truth, I was kind of hoping to shake the hand of the hot lead guitar player.

We left the casino around 10:30 p.m. Not exactly the old days when one got highly intoxicated and/or stoned, screamed and danced with the band until midnight, puked in an alley behind the Metrodome, continued drinking for hours at a friend’s apartment while listening to the CD you bought at the concert, and finally falling asleep to the dulcet tones of the garbage truck making morning rounds.

Or so I’ve heard.

Thanks, Casey, for the fun evening! When Rick Springfield comes to town next….WE ARE THERE!