August 25, 2006

This Morning At Breakfast

The Governor asks me if I have a shaver. Shaver? I'm not sure if he meant a razor or what, but past experience has taught me that it's best to deny the possession or even mere existence of anything sharp.

Shaver? No, I don't have a shaver. What do you need a shaver for?

"So I can shave off a strip of hair down the middle of my head. And leave the sides. It's a reverse mohawk, Mom!"

No, you're not getting a reverse mohawk.

"I'll talk to Dad."

After the urge to dump cereal over his head passes, I think about a reverse mohawk. He starts preschool next month. The teacher's shock...the other parents' faces...it's so deliciously tempting. School photos. Ooh! Christmas cards.

And yet, the hair will remain in place. If I give in on the mohawk, next he'll be demanding a nose ring or tattoo. He'll have nothing to look forward to when he's a discontented teen. Except the fact that I will still be his mother and promise to greet him as "Sweetie Pie" in front of all his friends. He can bank on that.

Posted by Cathy at August 25, 2006 10:32 AM
Comments

Don't worry about the finger. They can rebuild it. They have the technology. They can make it better,faster, and stronger.

Posted by: Sheriff Bart at August 25, 2006 11:18 AM

Just another thought. Even without bionics I'm sure the VP would say you are more valuable than the seven million dollar woman.

Posted by: Sheriff Bart at August 25, 2006 11:23 AM

I can remember my grandmother (affectionately named Granny) call my brother "Davey" in front of his teenaged friends. Didn't seem to bother him at all. You'll need more ammo than "Sweetie Pie". I suggest the naked pictures in the bathtub.

Posted by: DeannP at August 25, 2006 11:57 AM

If you let him work out all of wild hairs while he's still a manageable size, you may end up with a well-mannered, well-behaved, teen.

Then again, you might not.

Posted by: aelfheld at August 25, 2006 12:26 PM

Tell him that he can achieve the same look with a piece of ribbon - not the smooth kind, the kind that have the ridges that you use to make it curl. When my brother was a kid, I noticed him sitting in front of the tv with a piece of ribbon and he was rubbing it back and forth across his head. By the time I saw him, he already had his reverse mohawk going....

Posted by: Elizabeth at August 27, 2006 01:18 PM