Cathy in the Wright

An Outpost Tale In Which The Governor Pleads For A Grandparent To Come Rescue Him From His Evil Mom

After what seems like a month spent at our cabin, I made the executive decision to stay home today and clean here at The Outpost. Neglect had taken its toll. Spiders were no longer hiding in the corners and behind furniture; I found webs trailing from the refridgerator door to the sink. Apparently, they didn't think we were coming back.

While I was cleaning, The Governor amused himself by throwing his green, suction-cup ball at every glass surface he could find. Just avoid the big window over the stairs with the light fixture hanging in front of it, I told him.

He took one look at the aforementioned window and fired. The ball barely missed the light fixture, bounced off the window, and fell down the stairs.

I closed my eyes and indulged in a brief daydream about sending The Gov along the same trajectory path.

Okay, I said, go get the ball and bring back up here. I think he knew the axe was about to fall, but he wasn't sure if it was going to be a nick or the full beheading. He took his time. He finally got back to the top of the stairs and I motioned for him to follow me into the kitchen. I stopped and pointed into the trash can.

"What?! In the garbage?!"

I nodded. He dropped it in the trash bin and collapsed on the floor, sobbing.

And as any good parent knows, you can't just stop there. Kick 'em while they're down. I stood over him and harped, Maybe next time you'll listen when I tell you not to do something.

He sat up and turned around to look at me with red, teary eyes. He raised one finger in the air and asked, "Can't you give me just one more chance?"

No. Now go find something to do.

Mom and Dad - if you're thinking of calling me and telling me how hard I'm being about this, don't bother. I won't be able to hear the phone ringing over all the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Posted by Cathy at July 6, 2006 02:02 PM