Cathy in the Wright

Am I Really Relying On A Three-Year-Old Not To Tattle On Me?

I can see why it might be difficult to reform criminals. The rush of doing something forbidden and waiting to see if you can get away with it is a tremendous thrill. In a couple of hours, The Governor and I will know if we've pulled off the biggest transgression The Outpost has ever experienced.

Last night I told The Senator that I would be cleaning the basement today. He nodded and said, "But not MY room, right?!" Right. He is very sensitive about his room, mainly because he collects a lot of junk and I'm always threatening to haul it away. And when I say junk, I mean junk. He refuses to toss the dozens of re-order cards that come in the middle of his Ranger Rick magazines. McDonalds toys circa 2003? Check. Broken pencil with no eraser? On the dresser. He has art work from pre-school still hanging on his bedposts. He's in first grade.

So The Governor and I start working on the basement, and I head into The Senator's room to shove something under his bed. As I lift the bedskirt, I'm hit by a musty smell. I look at The Gov and say, "You ready to get in some BIG trouble?" He nods.

We start cleaning The Senator's room. Well, I start cleaning, and The Governor starts rummaging through all the Forbidden Toys that he's not allowed to touch when The Senator is around to enforce the rules.

I moved the bed and found a layer of dust so thick I could have rolled it up like a carpet and carried it out of the house. After the dry heaves passed, I tackled the dust, the clutter, and the rest of the mess.

We finished cleaning the room just a few moments ago. I tried to put the remaining junk back in its original spot. If I had been thinking, I would have taken some "before" pictures. I tell you, my adrenalin is still rushing. I haven't felt this excited about doing something verboten since my soccer team rid the neighborhood of pink flamingos in 1985.

I think I need a cigarette.

Posted by Cathy at February 21, 2006 01:48 PM