February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day

Romance flourishes at The Outpost. My sons bought me a card. The front of the card says "Cupid's Trophy Room" and features a picture of heinies of various sizes and colors mounted like deer heads. The inside says, "Happy Valentine's Day. (And watch your butt.)

Thanks for the card, Senator.

Yeah! It had BUTTS on it! Watch your butt!

Any chance to work in some bathroom humor...my sons will take it.

The VP decided that a family trip to the local pizza joint would be the topper to this most romantic of days. Half way into his first slice, The Governor choked on a pea-sized bite of pizza and threw up on his plate. The Senator, who has a very sensitive stomach, saw the vomit and started gagging and heaving. The VP starts yelling at The Governor to lean over his plate before anything hits the floor. I start yelling at The Senator, "Look away! Look away!" He yells back, "I'm gonna throw up!" "No, you're NOT! Look away!"

We managed to limit the damage to one child, one plate. We got everything cleaned up, paid, and walked out leaving more than half the pizza untouched on the tray.

Nothing like quality family time.

Arriving home, I thought, "Hey! We'll put the kids to bed early, maybe pop in an R-rated movie, snuggle on the couch..." but then The VP took out the bagpipes. Nothing puts you in a seductive mood more than a little Highland battle music.

Oh! The pinnacle of the evening! The VP just asked me to iron his tux shirt.

Since this night can't get worse, I'm breaking open the peanut M&Ms and watching gay men figure skate.

Posted by Cathy at February 14, 2006 10:18 PM
Comments

Oh my...

Looks like you need a vacation... without the kids or bagpipes, of course..

Posted by: Psycmeistr at February 15, 2006 12:03 AM

Ahhhh, what is this emotion?? Sympathy?

Must resist. Must ridicule.

Ack.

Better luck next year.

Posted by: Kevin at February 15, 2006 12:57 AM

Should I expect to read that you've determined the appropriate freight charges for the VP?

Posted by: aelfheld at February 15, 2006 08:25 AM

Wait until the Senator lives in the dorm. He will lose that reaction to vomit quickly. The good news is that this year I can't be accused of being the least romantic male on the face of the planet.

Posted by: DaveP at February 15, 2006 12:59 PM

I can help you with that freight rate being that's what I do for a living. Now I need to talk to the VP. This just dose not make any sense. R-Rated movie, snuggle on the couch which could lead to other things on the big V-Day, and he takes out the damn pipes. Now I love pipes myself dont get me worng, but you wouldn't have to ask me twice to lay on the couch with a fine woman like yourself. And I thought I had a bad night.

Posted by: Zeb at February 15, 2006 01:32 PM

Ha! Sounds like a classic holiday! My husband surprised me with a box of chocolate covered strawberries (a ritual now) before we started sorting through boxes of old stuff. We're getting ready to move - again. Ugh.

Posted by: yayaempress at February 18, 2006 09:52 AM

And aside from the Russian guy, yeah, didn't they all seem a little light in the loafers?

Posted by: Jeff at February 19, 2006 08:35 PM