December 28, 2005

In the Market For Swampland...Bridges...

Just yesterday The VP accused me of being naive. He tried to soften it with "in a good, innocent sort of way" but the damage was done. So now I'm on a mission to view every interaction with suspicion; to become jaded and mistrustful of all that surrounds me. Like tonight. I fixed lasagna for dinner. I set three plates because I knew The Governor wouldn't eat any of it. The VP takes The Gov into the bathroom to wash up for dinner and has a few words with him.

They come out of the bathroom, and The VP gives me a wink. "I got in a pre-emptive strike," he whispered. "I've already got him to promise me he'll eat his dinner with NO fussing!" My skepticism meter hit the red zone, but I didn't say anything. Sure enough, The Governor gets to the table, sees his plate, and lets his forehead hit the counter. Dinner has been boycotted in record time. And then the following conversation between father and son:

C'mon, Gov. You promised me you'd eat your dinner. That's just two small bites. You can do it.

No I can't. I don't like this.

Now Gov, we made a deal. You're going to eat that like you told me you would.

Nope.

Okay. I'll help you. Here, let's put just this one small bite in your mouth, okay?

The VP scooped a bite of lasagna the size of a dime into The Governor's mouth. Cue the screaming, crying, and gagging. Finally The VP lost his temper.
All right! That's it. Spit it out and go to your room. You can just SKIP dinner tonight!
After escorting The Gov down to his room, The VP came back upstairs and vented. "I can't believe he wouldn't eat that. He promised me he'd do it. Well, that's it. He can just go hungry until he's ready to eat what we're all eating. I can't believe he broke his word."

Lessseeee.....you put complete faith in the words of a three-year-old, our three-year-old, who has a track record for undermining every healthy meal we serve?

Want some help yanking that hook out of your upper lip, dear?

Posted by Cathy at December 28, 2005 06:16 PM
Comments

You'll know for sure if you're terminally naive if you find yourself saying the word, "Reeally?" a lot.

On the flip side, if you're terminally cynical you always say, "Yeah, right."

Posted by: Night Writer at December 29, 2005 05:48 PM

Arizona coastline?

Posted by: aelfheld at December 29, 2005 10:40 PM

Aefheld: ROFL!

I'm hoping my kids will eat lasagna before they graduate from high school. Even though I have between 9 and 13 (yes, 13) years before that happens, I'm doubtful. About the only way they will eat tomato sauce is if it's between the crust and cheese on a pizza.

Posted by: Joan at December 31, 2005 01:51 AM