It's over. The VP and I returned from Missouri today. I'm exhausted. I under-estimated how much energy it requires to grieve.
The funeral went well, especially considering that as I'm sobbing over Grandma's casket at the wake, my mother springs the news that I'm doing one of the readings during Mass the next morning. Swell. I had instant visions of standing in front of the microphone and having a total breakdown, complete with runny nose and uncontrollable sobbing. My mother pointed out that everyone there would be in the same boat, so I really had no worries. Right. Personally, I think I was chosen because they figured after I humiliated myself in front of the congregation, I'd be leaving town soon afterwards anyway. The other readers? My sister (Minnesota) and my cousin (Illinois). Q.E.D.
In the end, we all did a credible job at the podium. The whole ceremony went well, and the grave-side service was touching. The hardest part of the entire day was driving away from the cemetery and seeing Grandma's casket still waiting to be lowered into the ground. I felt as though I was deserting her. I wanted to go back and get her. Not sure where I would have kept her...maybe on the sleeper sofa in the computer room...but still - I couldn't just leave her there. We had room in the car.
I'm doing a bit better today. And no, there is no embalmed grandmother propped up on my couch. I will be content with photos and memories. And I have plenty of both.
Finally, I did come away from the experience with some valuable notes for planning my own funeral. At my wake, there is going to be food and beverages. And by food and beverages I do not mean a dish of mints and a drinking fountain. I mean a full bar and appetizer menu at the very minimum. If the funeral parlor can't handle that, I want my wake to be held at the local pub. And in honor of my grandma, if you want to cash in on the 2-for-1 happy hour, you're going to need a coupon.
Posted by Cathy at October 18, 2005 07:18 PMPrecisely the experience I had with both my mom and dad ... but I wasn't so smooth on the podium, which surprised people because I was a public speaker. Just couldn't get the words out. My sincere condolences.
Rodger
Posted by: Rodger Schlong at October 18, 2005 09:20 PMOur condolences.
Mark says it's illegal to have alcohol anywhere on the premises of a funeral home in this country. And that the Hell's Angels always have two funerals, as they're required to have a keg at theirs. How does he know these things?
Carol
Ask Mark if it's illegal to have a dead body in a bar? He'll probably know that if he knew about the funeral home guidelines.
Posted by: Cathy at October 19, 2005 11:44 PMYou can easily get around any dead body in the bar restrictions. Simply leave instructions in your will that you are to be propped up and given a pint of your favorite beverage. For further ideas see the classic film "Weekend at Bernie's".
I hope you and your family are doing okay.
Posted by: Uncle Ben at October 20, 2005 09:33 AM