June 26, 2005

Victory!

We have found The Governor's Achilles heel.

The VP and I had nearly run out of ideas trying to find a way to motivate The Gov to start using the toilet. He has Number One down and has for some time, but there has been no movement (sorry) on No. 2. But today we finally hit on something that motivated him to get off his butt. Or the reverse.

A couple of months ago we closed on a small cabin near our house. We just took possession today, and as a housewarming gift to ourselves, we bought a new Sea Doo jet ski. We've been telling The Gov that unless he started taking care of business...no "Water Honda" rides. (To him, all ATV's are Hondas; all jet skis are Water Hondas)

This threat had no effect until today, when The VP and The Senator took off on the inaugural ride. The Governor was close to tears watching from the dock. He got a determined look on his face, and an hour later he told me he needed to go.

False alarm. He didn't have to go. But I made a big deal out of him wanting to try. We had five more false alarms. On the sixth attempt, he succeeded and there was much rejoicing. We whooped it up, and I'm sure our new neighbors are now afraid to meet us.

The VP and The Gov went straight down to the dock and were missing for half an hour. He never wanted to get off after that.

Stickers? Candy? What a load of rubbish. All you need is several thousand dollars worth of lakefront property and water toys.

Posted by Cathy at June 26, 2005 07:37 PM
Comments

Such a simple, yet affordable, solution.

;-)

Posted by: aelfheld at June 26, 2005 10:34 PM

Nothing like a little two stroke power to cure all that ails you. When you mix two stroke exhaust with testosterone good things happen. Take that all you bed wetter liberals who are trying to ban them. After finally meeting the Gov this weekend I am surprised that the adorable little boy didn't just say "Please mother may I go to the bathroom". Is this the sample offspring that you have referred to as "Satan"? The must be another child locked in a dog kennel back at the Outpost.

Posted by: DaveP at June 27, 2005 11:30 AM

We medicate him heavily when we take him out in public.

Posted by: Cathy at June 27, 2005 11:32 AM

At least the comment spam is getting wittier.

Posted by: aelfheld at June 27, 2005 01:56 PM

My sister is having a somewhat similar issue with her oldest son. He's 4 and since he doesn't do #2 but maybe once every other week, he hasn't exactly gotten it down just yet. While they don't have lakefront property, they have a boat and the problem persists. Any other ideas/suggestions? :)

Posted by: yayaempress at June 27, 2005 02:03 PM

You were there long enough that the meds would have worn off. Unless--you have had a radio controlled implantable pump installed. That's it.

Posted by: DaveP at June 27, 2005 04:08 PM

Jet skis are wonderful. Of course there is the crippling soreness that follows the next day.

If you don't have the soreness, you aren't using them properly.

Posted by: Kevin at June 27, 2005 10:41 PM