Cathy in the Wright

Fawning Over the Flora

Modesty is one of my primary virtues, I’m proud to say. And t his explains why I have been practicing before the mirror a suitably humble response to the praise certain to come my way.

The Green Goddess was away from her planting so—without request or instruction—I have taken to her garden with zeal and all of the tools I could collect. She will be pleased to learn of my hard work and development of novel (unique would be immodest) gardening processes that will enhance her horticultural life.

For example, she will be overjoyed to discover my improvement over the handwork drudgery of pulling weeds from the flower bed she has spent years nurturing along the south fence to our backyard. I have eliminated the stoop-work by applying Round-up to the entire flower bed. Those pesky weeds will disappear, effortlessly, and I am prepared to bask in her praise, diffidently, of course.

Next, I turned my arboreal skills to the perennials and annuals in two raised-bed plots. Out came my newly lubed and gassed Honda tiller, heretofore used only with the GG’s close—but unnecessary—supervision. Today, I soloed and with great skill. I carefully avoided areas where the annuals were planted, because they return annually (well, duh) as their name indicates. However, I applied those tiller blades to the perennials with a vengeance, making the planting of new perennials a quick and easy chore.

There was only one little problem, and that was resolved quickly. I apparently over fertilized one of the major plantings, as a neighbor hinted, asking when the snow had fallen. The GG has no cause for concern, though, because I expediently rescued the flora by using her new vacuum cleaner to inhale the excess of powder. Replacement topsoil will be ordered, and a new motor for the vacuum cleaner should arrive within the week.

This has been an exhilarating experience, since I had NO idea that, like the Green Goddess, I possessed the “green thumb” of a Master Gardener, though I cannot officially claim the title, which involves academic achievement and volunteer hours. I am hoping, though, for an honorary appellation, in light of my recent and soon-to-be-recognized activities.

Togetherness is important, which is why I’m waiting for GG’s return, so we can share seeking an answer to a question I’ve posed hypothetically for years: What will happen, if you add a tad of tequila to the hummingbird feeder?

Posted by Professor at May 21, 2005 12:02 AM