Cathy in the Wright

New WMD Discovered

Last night after the kids went to bed I went grocery shopping. It's not my favorite thing to do at 10 p.m., but the milk was expired, the cereal jar was empty, and the bananas had been ferried out the door by the ants, so I had no choice.

Still, shopping without worrying that someone is ripping open a package of pork chops or trying to bowl with a liter of ginger ale has its appeal. Plus, everyone in the house would be asleep when I got back, so I wouldn't have six hands digging in bags trying to find hidden treasures.

Or so I thought.

I pulled in the driveway and saw The VP in the kitchen window. Sweet! He waited up for me! Which bag has the Reddi-Whip?

It wasn't to be.

I opened the door and he wailed, "The Governor is sick! Sick! He threw up on me! I've got him in the tub, but you need to get in here. I've got to take a shower because the vomit is BURNING my skin!"

How did men ever come to rule the world? Toddler vomit, the secret biological weapon. In my husband's world, he just got doused with a gallon of toxic waste. In my world, The Governor drooled a little. After dealing with The Senator's power-barfing for years, anything less than a pint is spit-up.

We got The Governor squared away, but he truly was sick. I was up a few more times with him throughout the night. No one got much sleep. Especially The VP. I could tell because when he backed out of the garage this morning, he bashed the passenger-side mirror on the door frame and sent broken glass everywhere.

Now that, folks, is a page out of my playbook. He never does stuff like that. Poor man. I ran outside and helped him sweep up the mess and tried hard not to gloat. Didn't work. I told him, "You know, Honey, sometimes I feel bad for not fixing a great dinner when I'm tired. But you just raised the bar. I can get away with anything now. Thanks, Baby!" I left before he threw the push broom at me.

That really made my day.

Posted by Cathy at May 11, 2005 10:06 PM