April 12, 2005

Don't Mess With My Planters

The Governor came down with something last night. He was doing his best flaming Baby Jack-Jack imitation, so the two of us spent the early hours of the day watching paid programming and slurping Tylenol. Sleep deprivation always makes me cranky, so my irritation level was elevated when I went looking for a snack and opened the cupboard. The jar of dry roasted peanuts was right in front. Excellent. Grabbed the jar and found four peanuts and an ounce of peanut dust. @!@#$%^&! There is only one other person in this house cruel enough to leave legume remnants. I married him.

I was going to dial him up and chew him out over the phone, but he saved me a step. He called to heckle me about something else. I started in on him:

Listen, you’re in no position to be taunting me. I’m already needled enough. I just found the peanut jar with four peanuts and a bunch of dust. Why would you leave that in the cupboard?

I don’t like the dust. The dust sucks. Why would I want to eat that? I just like the peanuts.

When my blood pressure lowered enough to restore my vision, I hung up the phone. I’m not certain how I’m going to make him pay for this, but I do know I’m sure as hell NOT going to be the one sitting up watching Suzanne Somers hawk jewelry at 4 am tomorrow morning.

Posted by Cathy at April 12, 2005 02:22 PM
Comments

Mr. Peanut sheds?

Posted by: aelfheld at April 12, 2005 10:15 PM

Sounds like the V.P. is related to The Professor.

Posted by: Aunt S at April 13, 2005 07:53 AM

Clearly you're forgetting about the half-life of food. You can always take some but as long as you still leave a little in the container you don't need to worry about throwing it away or replacing it.

The most common example is ice cream. With a full container you can actually use a real ice cream scoop and fill a bowl or even make a three-scoop cone. As the container gets lighter, the hungry snacker switches to a soup spoon, then a table spoon, and finally resorts to using a baby spoon. The change in spoons is to avoid accidentally taking all the ice cream in one fell swoop.

The snacker's description of the treat also changes from "I want some ice cream" to "I just wanted a taste of ice cream" as he enjoys three micrograms of Kemps.

Posted by: RHO at April 13, 2005 08:01 AM