Cathy in the Wright

The Core Has Been Breached...Meltdown in 5 Seconds...4 Seconds...3 Seconds...

I awoke in a perfectly good mood. Sad, really, how it took only a few hours to go from pleasantly happy to steamingly angry. And who bears responsibilty for the change? You guessed it: The Governor.

He's ruined many a day before, but this might be a record. By next month, I'll just have The VP poke me with sharp sticks when he leaves in the morning and save The Governor some of the effort.

While The Gov awoke crabby, I suppose I could be partly to blame for trying to sneak in a trip to Target with a volatile toddler. I tried to disarm him by bribing the boys with a trip to McDonalds if we could get through Target without Security asking us to leave.

We did make it through Target, but only after I abandoned my list at the first sign of trouble. We bought hair spray and toothpaste and bolted for the front door. I wanted to salvage McDonalds; something to make me feel less like the Commandant and more like a fun Mom.

McDonalds was crowded. The Governor decided lines were not his thing. He ran up to the front counter and started talking to the cashier. I hauled him back to our place, and the screaming ensued. I let go of him. The screaming stopped and he took off into the restaurant. I peeled him out from underneath a table and held onto him while I placed shouted my order. The cashier looked at us with troubled eyes and her voice wavered as she asked tremulously, "Is...is that for here...or to go?"

Oh yes...we're going.

Got our order and a couple of empty cups. Headed to the drink station. The orange drink button didn't work. Haul fussing toddler and older brother back across restaurant to other drink station. Held cup under the orange drink button, and out came orange syrup. "Oh cripes," I muttered, "That's not going to work."

"What's not, Mom?"

"It's syrup. You can't drink this, Senator. What else do you want?"

"Let me try it!"

"No! And hurry up! People are waiting. What else?"

He grabbed the cup out of my hand and slopped sticky orange syrup all over his face. He started to lick...like some poor fool who gets a pie in the kisser, tries it, and can't believe his good luck that someone tossed banana cream at him instead of blueberry.

By this point, the noise and the crowding got to me. I threw all the drink cups in the trashed and we headed outside. We were followed out by one of the employees who cooingly asked The Governor, "Are you okay?"

Good thing for her I left my crowbar at home.

I'm not sure how I managed to open the car door with a wild toddler draped over my shoulder and my other hand gripping two Happy Meals, but I did. We got home. The Commandant returned in full force.

"You will SIT! You will EAT! You will NOT MAKE ANOTHER SOUND!"

It's so much easier to go all red in the face and holler and yell in the privacy of your own home.

Finished lunch. Marched offending toddler into his room for a nap. More screaming.

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha. Where's your Moses now?!

Posted by Cathy at August 4, 2004 03:02 PM