Happy 4th of July! My day? Why thanks for asking.
After an informal soccer game I went over to a friend's house for a pre-fireworks party. My friend and her husband are fairly liberal, but we don't discuss politics much. Even if politics came up in a conversation, I would never worry about getting into an argument because they're two of the few Democrats who don't let emotions completely take over rational thought. She reminds me a bit of Natalie. I'd include Andy, but he's a closet conservative anyway.
I met my friend in the kitchen and headed out to the backyard. Uh oh. The first person I see is an old high-school friend of mine and his wife. He's wearing a MoveOn.org t-shirt. He and his wife are both teachers, and I'm pretty certain they're strong supporters of the NEA.
His sister is also there with her girlfriend. While I really like the sister, her partner makes me grind my teeth. She's extremely proud of the fact that she hasn't purchased any new clothing in over four years, and loves to brag that the dishsoap she buys at the co-op will last for several months "because it really takes so little soap to do a load of dishes." Six ounces of soap (she recycles the same small bottle and takes it back to the co-op for refills) lasting several months? Glad to hear she's conserving; won't ever eat a meal off her dishes.
The last couple I like, but when the wife starts talking about her last job as a union organizer (tried without success to unionize the graduate assistants at the U of M), I have to dig my fingernails into my palms until the pain prevents me from speaking. Her husband is a good guy - mainly because he's another soccer player and loves big dogs - but votes party-line Democrat.
Well...being the sole conservative in a crowd is not daunting. Until someone innocently asks about what stores might be open tomorrow.
...
I was attempting to recreate the entire conversation, but it was too chaotic to reproduce in coherent sentences. The general tone was that the evil, capitalistic Republicans were keeping retail stores open so that the minimum wage-earning surfs could suffer through their horrible, non-unionized jobs and go home and eat cold gruel and miss the fireworks.
A few moments later, someone on the street lit off a string of firecrackers, which led to another diatribe on the horrible thing the Minnesota legislature did by allowing some minor league fireworks to be purchased legally.
Someone started in on handguns, suggesting they should all be illegal, but I interrupted and said, "If handguns aren't legal, how would I shoot all the raccoons, stray dogs, feral cats, skunks, and other varmits around the farm?" Horrified silence. It wasn't a fair shot on my part. I use a rifle. For the record: I don't shoot stray dogs.
I drown them.
Kidding. Just kidding.
When the group got ready to head for the park to watch the fireworks, I decided to go. Said good-bye to my ever-gracious hosts (they didn't comment much during the evening) and headed home.
Next year I'm thinking of hosting the party here at The Outpost. I think we'll grill some Federally-protected song birds, set up the shooting range, and hire several illegal immigrants for less than minimum wage to serve and clean up the joint.
Bet I steamed all the Democrats in the family with this post. Sorry Mom.
Posted by Cathy at July 4, 2004 11:29 PMIf you give me some warning, I'll see if I can round up a bunch of illegals for your party. Do you want them by the cord or by the gross?
Posted by: aelfheld at July 5, 2004 11:33 AMOooh...generous offer! The Twin Cities is due to get a huge number of Hmong refugees in the upcoming months - the market here may be flooded with cheap labor.
However, if this means you're coming to the party, you're certainly welcome to bring your own stable of servants. ;)
Posted by: Cathy at July 5, 2004 02:06 PMCount us in. We'll be there. I loved a grilled songbird. Actually I love grilled anything as long as it once walked, flew, swam or combinations thereof.
Posted by: Andy at July 5, 2004 04:27 PMI can provide cheap child labor!
Posted by: Aunt S at July 6, 2004 10:41 AMCathy, thanks for holding the torch for all of us political moderates out there. Someone has to educate the lefties.
Posted by: DaveP at July 6, 2004 11:28 AMI went with the wife and kids to a friend of my wife's for a BBQ on the 5th. DLK knows this woman from her democratic party functions (they were in the same training class). The friend is a BIG dem and we usually debate politics. She is very nice and the debates are quite nice; none of the usual "you're Hitler" type remarks.
The friend's brother works for the Pediatric AIDS foundation and his wife works on a college campus and has mulitple piercings. My guess was I was the only one right of Nadar.
Two bites into the meal, DLK's friend turns to me and asks "So why do hate Michael Moore?" Everyone stopped eating and starred at me. Everyone but DLK who kept on eating and didn't bother to look up. She could've asked "So why do you beat your kids" for the effect it had on these people.
I tried to explain my dislike for him but piercing girl just turned away. Didn't even want to hear it. Didn't stop me. I calmly explained why I didn't like him and then went back to eating my burger. It was, however, cold for the rest of the dinner. Maybe I need a F the French shirt too.
Posted by: Ross at July 8, 2004 06:33 PM