Cathy in the Wright

Just How Mean Are You?

I'm SO mean, I beat on my 3-legged, cancer-ridden dog tonight.

Now I know I'm going to have a difficult time justifying my actions because you're all feeling sorry for the dog in the first place with the cancer and missing leg...but the damned pain-in-the-ass bit me.

I decided, rather unreasonably, to tackle another quadrant of THE BACKYARD. Huge mistake. The mosquitoes were so thick I couldn't breathe without inhaling half a dozen with each intake. The grass and the thistles are now taller than I am. I'm not sure what I was thinking; my best hope at this point is to wait for fall and try controlled burns.

Anyway, I fired up the gas weed trimmer and discovered The VP had let the dogs outside. They HATE the weed trimmer. They started to do their crazy "I will kill this intruder" dance around the business end of the trimmer, and as I'm taking a swing at Hoocher with my foot...Breezy sneaks around behind me and nips me on the back of the thigh.

There is no way she can convince me she was going for the weed trimmer and got me by mistake. No way. She deliberately gave me a nip. She's never done anything like this before. I think she's been spoiled for so long now she figured she could get away with anything. Not so.

I dropped the trimmer and turned on her. Grabbing her by the back of the neck, I thrust her face to the ground, which was pretty easy once that front leg gave way. I hollered at her and shook her by the scruff a couple of times. I was going to get really mean, but the mosquitoes were starting to building derricks anywhere they could find exposed skin. I had to let her off easy. Just so she'd remember who's boss around here...there were only four treats tonight. Yep, I'm that mean.

When I go to the nursing home on Tuesday, I think I'll rough up some of the wheel-chair bound patients...but only if they've had a stroke so they can't fight back.

Posted by Cathy at July 3, 2004 09:12 PM