A brief re-cap of yesterday in which your most humble blogger imparts several, non-connected bits of wisdom for your improvement. Pencils ready?
“Bananas,” The Senator says, “plug me up.” I pass this along as a caution.
Leaf blowers are not the child’s tool they appear to be. Do not use them on a windy day. Unless, of course, your aim was to make a bigger mess than you started with originally. Also, leaf blowers are perverts. Several attempts were made by this twisted machine to remove my shorts.
If your two year old says, “Thank you, Mama,” when you tell him to go sit in the time-out chair, the chair has ceased to be a deterrent to bad behavior.
Gopher holes are an endless source of fascination to youngsters. Gopher holes with rusty gopher traps have an even greater attraction. If you have difficulty getting your child to come inside for dinner, put a rusty gopher trap in the middle of your kitchen table.
In a classroom full of parents and toddlers, you will be the only person not laughing when your child sits down in the middle of the floor and announces, “I have to toot, Mama. I have to go poo-poo.”
As dogs age, they, too, find a need for Depends undergarments.
I have several other pearls to share, but I feel obligated to make The VP aware of them before I further publically embarrass our family. One might argue such a consideration never stopped me before, but I try to make the token effort now and again.
Have a pleasant afternoon. I'm off to bake a birthday cake for The Governor. I'd invite you all over tomorrow for a little celebration, but I'm letting The Senator crack the eggs. Ever had crunchy birthday cake before?
P.S. Margaret, have an awesome trip to Ireland with your Mom! Buy her a pint or two for me. I'll pay you back. Honest.
Posted by Cathy at April 15, 2004 12:47 PM