March 29, 2004

What I Did This Summer or Nightmare on I35

My cousin is getting married this summer and The VP and I are going to be driving to Wichita with both boys. We were thinking of doing something a bit more relaxing for our summer vacation...perhaps dental camp or donkey rides through the Great Plains Mine Field. But family weddings only come around so often, so we will be driving to Wichita.

I'm trying to break up the trip into two parts and stop somewhere overnight in Iowa or Missouri. I've been looking at hotels and motels on the Internet. Most of the web sites give lots of information, but here's a few things I'd like to see them include:

How often are the police called to deal with disturbances at your inn?

Any biker conventions happening during my stay?

Any jails, prisons, half-way houses, or Wal-Marts within 10 miles of your facility?

Do you keep the local bug exterminator in business?

Can I smell the guests in the next room when they smoke?

Can I hear the guests in the next room when they smoke?

The picture on your web site showed a vast field behind your motel. Do traintracks also run through this field?

Does the Department of Health inspector give you volume discounts on your fines?

You say the daily paper will be at my door each morning. How about Jehovah's Witnesses?

I'd stay in a cardboard box if I knew it was safe, clean, and my rest would be free from disturbances. I've got The Governor to take care of that last requirement.

Posted by Cathy at March 29, 2004 02:42 PM
Comments

Clarify please.

Is the Governor in charge disturbances or Jehovah's Witnesses?

Posted by: aelfheld at March 29, 2004 07:10 PM

Errata.

Please insert 'of' between 'charge' and disturbances' above.

Preview should come before Post, never mind the blinking alphabet.

Posted by: aelfheld at March 29, 2004 07:12 PM

You forgot the most important question: When does it become more economical to switch from your hourly rate to your overnight rate?

Posted by: Professor at March 29, 2004 08:42 PM

Where is the nearest prairie Dog park?

Posted by: Walter Wallis at March 30, 2004 03:28 PM

The nearest PD Park is just a couple of miles away, but the entrance fee is exorbitant, the lines are long, and the dried grasses and bugs they serve at the concession stands are not what you'd call haute cuisine.

Posted by: Cathy at March 30, 2004 04:44 PM

It is at this point, you teach both boys to ask in their most angelic tones if they can ride with The Green Goddess and The Professor. Then you and the VP grab the Corvette and don't look back until you hit Kansas.

Posted by: Aunt S at April 5, 2004 11:57 AM