The following joke is brought to you from my good friend, Dave:
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other,
outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are
you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out
and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry
about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you
wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?" The first kid says, "A
circumcision." And the second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that
done when I was born... Couldn't walk for a year."
I think that's the cleanest joke I've heard in a while.
And speaking of clean, Natalie comes through once again with the household cleaning advice! See yesterday's comment. Thanks, Natalie!
OOOOOOOOOOOHH! My nose can't take any more. The Crazyweiler is sitting by my feet and .... oh it's bad. Time to change his diet perhaps.
A few minutes ago I was in the kitchen helping The Senator with a puzzle when the unmistakable smell of freshly discharged skunk came wafting through the windows. Well, it doesn't really waft. It assults you. This is not the unpleasant smell you get when you drive by a skunk road kill. This is a putrid, burn-the-back-of-your-throat, eye-watering smell. As I'm running around shutting windows, The VP (big, strong protector type that he is) tells me, "You better go outside and check your dogs."
My dogs?
Why yes, apparently they are mine, for I found myself out on the back porch calling them and crossing my fingers that the skunk attack was outside the fence, not within.
Thankfully, my dogs were not the target. Hard to tell sometimes...the way The Crazyweiler passes gas.
Oooh! He just did it again! Get out of here you stinky b*stard! AAAAAUGH!
If you're really looking for entertainment, have a skunk let loose under the house.
Some years back, in late December or early January, I got home late one evening to discover that (1) a skunk had decided to take up residence under the house, and (2) it had an objection to the accommodations. For some reason, the fact that it was freezing outside didn't matter - I had every door and window open that I could get to before I turned blue from holding my breath. To add insult to respiratory injury, about two weeks later (the smell had just about faded by then) the varmint blasted off again. Maybe we have a different kind of skunk in Texas, because that d----d polecat smelled exactly like the ones on the side of the road. I don't know what happened to it; it successfully avoided the live trap I set out (probably laughing its nasty little head off) and dined nicely on the sardines and tuna I used for bait.
For future reference, according to the animal control officer if you shoot a skunk you've only got about thirty seconds before it leaves you with a parting gift. He recommended having a piece of canvas handy - either to toss over the carcass before it blows, or to hide under if you're not close enough.
Posted by: aelfheld at September 4, 2003 10:06 PMOh Aelfheld!
That happened to some friends of mine; they lived in a hotel for a week.
Nice to know about the canvas!
Have a great weekend.
Posted by: Cathy at September 5, 2003 10:50 AM